I held his paw and slept by his side for 14 days in hospital. But it turned out, all the love in the world wasn’t enough to save him. Thus begins the final post on Life of Dozer.
My dearest Dozer,
You came into my life in my arms, holding you protectively. And after almost 14 years together, I held you in my arms protectively again as I said goodbye.
I was sobbing so hard, I forgot everything I wanted to say to you in our final moments together.
So I started writing this letter to you, to say all those things.
I wanted to reminisce about our wonderful times – the thousands of visits to the dog beach, all the wonderful food we sampled together, the cuddles, the neck-scratching-sessions, our road trips.
I wanted to thank you for spreading the joy that is you with readers all around the world, for happily coming along with me to meet readers at events, book signings, fund raisers, lunches, dinners, not to mention TV shows, photo shoots, and my gosh, we can’t forget our stint on Play School!
But as I sit here, typing away with tears streaming down my face, I realise that’s not what I want to say to you.
What I want to say is thank you.
Thank you for giving me your whole heart.
Thank you for giving me your unconditional loyalty.
Thank you for loving me just as I am, for all my flaws, for never caring what I weigh, what I wear, what I look like.
Thank you for always being there, my one constant through the good and bad times.
Thank you for making me smile, even on the hardest of days.
And thank you for trying so hard to stay with me as long as you could, fighting to heal until your very last day. I will never forget how deep you had to dig to find the strength for your rehab walk on our final morning together.
I know that one day, I will be able to look at photos of you again without sobbing. And I know all this pain I am feeling is because I loved you so fiercely and completely, and I wouldn’t trade it for a second I got to spend with you.
But right now, four days after saying goodbye, it feels like the heartbreak will never heal, like I will never smile again.
Rest in peace, my darling Dozer. I will never forget you, and I will never stop loving you.
Love,
Your mum xoxo
Thank you SASH
To the vets and nurses at the Small Animal Specialist Hospital (SASH),
Thank you for the extraordinary care, skill, and kindness you showed Dozer. Every moment, from the medical expertise to the gentle reassurance and cheering him on, meant more to me than I can say. Knowing he was in such capable, compassionate hands gave me comfort during the hardest days. I will always be deeply grateful for everything you did for my beautiful boy. – Nagi x
I’m so sorry for your loss Nagi. I’ve only recently started following you and in the short time, I got to see photos of you and your beautiful Dozer.
I can see all the love and beautiful life you’ve had together.
The pain of losing a furry baby is one of the hardest things to deal with.
I cried reading your letter to Dozer and seeing the photos of him in the hospital.
It will take a long time to heal, but it will get easier. You will always have your beautiful memories.
Dozer will always be with you.
❤️❤️
Oh my heart is shattered. This is so sad. Dozer was an AMAZING dog and will dearly be missed. Sending love and yummy treats!
Dear Nagi, I hope you took my advice about delegating a bunch when you had burnout & were looking for an assistant, so you could spend your time cherishing what was important (Dozer) while there was still time to do so.
Likely still soul-recovering from the flurry of people & activities that became your lives in recent years, Dozer is probably dozing after the very rewarding Journey he had with you.
Now, however, with the prospect of a Dozer-sized hole in your heart, soul, and kitchen that looms unthinkable, it may be time for you to do one of the things you do best: grab a Pan. It may be time to go panning for gold again…in the form of a new golden baby bear boy. It will never replace, but the new memories will help you heal and honor the big shoes he will have to fill.
The time of this phase without dog hair should come to an end now and new frontiers replace tears. My fave pic is the one of you and Dozer standing at the deck looking at the sea together where you are wearing the white dress. You might consider framing that one!
Hi Nagi,
Heartfelt condolences, I will miss him also, Thankyou, Dozer.
Nagi, I am so sorry for your loss and am grieving for your beautiful boy Dozer from the UK. They are such a huge part of our lives – it’s hard to let go. But you gave him the best life ever!! And he was so loved. xxx
My heart goes out to you. What a lucky dog Dozer was to have been so loved all his life. Take care of yourself, Nagi. The pain will heal in time ❤️🩹 xxx
Dear Nagi, I understand your loss. Although we have never met you always make me like I know you and Dozer. when I lost my Labrador in 2017 my daughter made me a chrm necklace with 2 vials of glittering sand, to remember the beach days and various engraved charms she created. She also gave me a lantern, covered in paw prints and filled with glittering water with the saying “Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us ever day.” I still miss my Sequioa but every now and then I catch a glimpse in a memory or a sunset at the beach. Dozer will always be at your side, eyes full of love.
Oh my heart is breaking for you. I’m sobbing right now and as I read the post, I can’t imagine ever saying good bye to my precious Pepper. Your tribute to Dozer resonated with me so much, my Pepper has does everything that Dozer did for you. I’m just so sad for your loss. I know it’ll never be the same again. But find peace in the fact that Dozer & you met and you had the blessing to spend all his life with him. I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense as I’m typing through tears. I’m so sorry for your heart being so broken without Dozer. Hope you’ll find peace in time. Lots of love from me & my Pepper
I’m so sorry Nagi, I’m sure he was just as sad to go as you are to miss him. As someone who lost her best friend and life saver 5 years ago, it does get less raw. Just remember that pain we feel is the love with no place to go. Try and send it up, I don’t believe in God, so I burn a candle and cry through a happy memory and think of that as my love being send to WHEREVER it may reach her. Take care of yourself love ❤️
Dear Nagi,
I have been thinking of you a lot as a fellow fur-mum and your huge recipetin fan, and thinking of my bond with my dear Sushi, I can totally relate to the deep sense of loss and pain you must be feeling. I am just sending you my biggest hug as I am opening yet another one of your recipes (tonight, Thai Fried Rice), which has given me and my daughter so much happiness throughout the years. Thank you, Nagi.
And thank you, Dozer – rest in peace in the doggie heaven xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
….and i did fall in love with you two. He was the best dog in the world and you were the best mom! Dozer was very lucky. I am thinking of you both… from Canada.
Hello Nagi, i received your email and i could not read it. Only today, I finaly was able with a lots of kleenex. Oh Nagi i Hope time will be your best friend. I discover you and Dozer about two years. And i fall in lov
Oh Nagi, my heart aches for you and I miss Dozer – he was what made me pay attention to your wonderful website. I’ve been with you from the beginning and I know how strong you are. Now you must allow the time you need to grieve the dog-love-of-your-life. All the best X
Hi Nagi: I’ve been following your website for the last couple years. Your recipes have been helpful and always turn up at the right time when I need to put something together quick. I am so sorry to hear of your dog, Dozer. He was your best friend and I always looked forward to seeing him when I looked up recipes. Good old Dozer! He was such an inspiration and I love retrievers. May you find comfort, healing, and peace as time goes on. Blessings!
No words will ever truly comfort you – just know Dozer knew you loved him and he loved you – that’s all we can give true love – I lost my Ezmay July 2024 and I miss her everyday, my first dog. I do have my 19 yr old tortie who will be 20 in April. She has been my rock for years – she knew my mom who sadly passed in 2009 from Amyloidosis. My mom called her her grand kitty and bought birthday and Christmas gifts for her. She has seen me at my worst (and still does hard times for me now) and she still is loving. I will say she drives me crazy, her new thing is to lick can food and walk away – so some days open multiple cans – she will always have food (dry is out all the time) and yes does get easier with time just know everybody’s time is different – don’t let anyone tell you you should be over it in their time constraint – heal, cry and remember the good times.
Dear Nagy
I am crying about you & your very beautiful Dozer.
So incredibly sad that Dozer has left this earth.
Thinking of you & sending you love & hugs.
Eleanor.🩵❤️
I just read about Dozer. Your tribute was beautiful Nagi. Sending love to you and your family at this very hard time 💖🙏
Oh my heart is breaking for you. How sad 😔. I had read your post but not till the end and so I thought he was still fighting to spend more time with his beloved Moma. 💔I am so sad for both of you.
I’m so sorry Nagi, I know the pain you have gone through, it does get easier with time, but every now & then something will trigger a tear, let them flow it does help xxx
I am devastated for you, it’s so hard to lose a fur family member. So sorry for the delayed message, it’s taken me this long to even read these emails, I knew I would cry. On the upside, I bought a copy of Dover’s book which I look forward to reading to my granddaughter. He is one in a million and I look forward to passing on his legacy (amid the tears).