I held his paw and slept by his side for 14 days in hospital. But it turned out, all the love in the world wasn’t enough to save him. Thus begins the final post on Life of Dozer.
My dearest Dozer,
You came into my life in my arms, holding you protectively. And after almost 14 years together, I held you in my arms protectively again as I said goodbye.
I was sobbing so hard, I forgot everything I wanted to say to you in our final moments together.
So I started writing this letter to you, to say all those things.
I wanted to reminisce about our wonderful times – the thousands of visits to the dog beach, all the wonderful food we sampled together, the cuddles, the neck-scratching-sessions, our road trips.
I wanted to thank you for spreading the joy that is you with readers all around the world, for happily coming along with me to meet readers at events, book signings, fund raisers, lunches, dinners, not to mention TV shows, photo shoots, and my gosh, we can’t forget our stint on Play School!
But as I sit here, typing away with tears streaming down my face, I realise that’s not what I want to say to you.
What I want to say is thank you.
Thank you for giving me your whole heart.
Thank you for giving me your unconditional loyalty.
Thank you for loving me just as I am, for all my flaws, for never caring what I weigh, what I wear, what I look like.
Thank you for always being there, my one constant through the good and bad times.
Thank you for making me smile, even on the hardest of days.
And thank you for trying so hard to stay with me as long as you could, fighting to heal until your very last day. I will never forget how deep you had to dig to find the strength for your rehab walk on our final morning together.
I know that one day, I will be able to look at photos of you again without sobbing. And I know all this pain I am feeling is because I loved you so fiercely and completely, and I wouldn’t trade it for a second I got to spend with you.
But right now, four days after saying goodbye, it feels like the heartbreak will never heal, like I will never smile again.
Rest in peace, my darling Dozer. I will never forget you, and I will never stop loving you.
Love,
Your mum xoxo
Thank you SASH
To the vets and nurses at the Small Animal Specialist Hospital (SASH),
Thank you for the extraordinary care, skill, and kindness you showed Dozer. Every moment, from the medical expertise to the gentle reassurance and cheering him on, meant more to me than I can say. Knowing he was in such capable, compassionate hands gave me comfort during the hardest days. I will always be deeply grateful for everything you did for my beautiful boy. – Nagi x
My heart is broken for you Nagi & I cry as I write this. Those of us who have loved & lost a pet know the indescribable pain and grief of no longer having the unconditional love and daily companionship of our soulmates who gave our lives so much meaning, joy & comfort. I found a YouTube video on “The Psychology of Losing A Pet” by Midnight Oracle so so helpful & hope it provides u the same. Grief is in the driver seat now and we send our love as you mourn the loss of your beloved Dozer❤️ .
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3wqx5UGcpG8
Oh, Nagi, I am so sorry. I am crying with you.
You gave him the best, he gave you his unconditional love too.
Unfortunately, we all have to go through this intense suffering. At this time, I wish you continued love and sweet memories. Be brave, keep him in your arms.
Congratulations for expressing your emotions so well.
Anne
Hello Nagi,
I’m saddened to hear of Dozier’s passing. It will take some time for you to not feel so sad when thinking of him. It was a picture of you and Dozier that interested me to take a look at your website. I have successfully made some of your recipes. I lost my Peanut ( an 80-ish pound black lab/rottie mix) several years ago. Wishing you peace of mind.
Hi Nagi, you and dozer were an incredible team together!! A joy for us to watch! I’m so sorry for your loss!! Please take care❤️❤️
Thanks for showing us what love is!!!! We will all miss dozer, sweet hugs to you….
I’m weeping as I read your heartfelt farewell to your precious Dozer. The tears are for you and your grief, but also for my future self as I know my beautiful boy, now 14, fragile and battling multiple conditions, will not be with me forever. We love ferociously and grieve deeply. May time heal your hurt. Rest now, Dozer.
I know your pain so well. It is still fresh for me. So very sorry for your loss. When I was strong enough, I placed pictures of my boy around the house in all the areas that were special to me. 16 months later, I still look up at these photos and it brings a smile to my face as I look at his eyes.
Nagi, what a beautiful tribute to Dozer. There are no words to say to assuage the grief. You were both so lucky yo have had each other.
Such a wonderful life together. My thoughts are with you and all Dozer’s loved ones. Take care Nagi
My deepest sympathy for your loss.
Dear Nagi, we know what you are going .
Kay
Sorry for your loss! Losing your fur baby is the hardest 🥺
Dear Nagi, how I wish I could erase your profound pain and sorrow and turn back the hands of time for you to have more precious time with your beloved Dozer. Yours was the last the last voice he heard and the last touch he felt as he left you. He will always live in your heart and you in his. My deepest condolences to you, Nagi, for Dozer’s loss.
I know how you feel. I lost my Mom and my Pixie on the same day and I didn’t think I would ever be able to recover from that. You will never forget Dozer and sometimes you will think he is with you, as long as you don’t open your eyes.
Dear Nagi
my heart is broken when i read your post, my deepest condiolencies, i went through the same and understand it is the hardest and most painful time when you loose your loved one, i wish you all the strenght and send you the warmest hug..
Lovely Nagi,
You gave Dozer an amazing life. We are holding you in our hearts.
I hope this helps:
LOVE CAME FIRST by Donna Ashworth
You don’t move on after loss, but you must move with. You must shake hands with grief, welcome her in, for she lives with you now. Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort. She is not the monster you first thought her to be. She is love. And she will walk with you now, stay with you now, peacefully. If you let her. And on the days when your anger is high, remember why she came, remember who she represents. Remember. Grief came to you, my friend, because love came first. Love came first.
I’ve have had to say “Goodbye” tearfully to MoochPoocho, Pooh Bear, Zephyr, Pumpkin, Dixie, Knuckles, Jesse James, and recently my sweet Rosie. I still have Tattoo, and am waiting for a new puppy to be born in May. I’ve loved them all and remember each one so very fondly. I can’t imagine life without a dog, even though that time will come. Bless you and your pup!
I am so sorry for your loss. I had to put my almost 19 year old chihuahua to sleep a few weeks ago. I still can’t stop crying.
Like so many others, i share your thoughts in processing love and loss of ypur dearest fur baby. At least be kind to yourself with the knowledge that his love and care for you was im sure mirrored back to the much loved Dozer. I hope your love for Dozer blossoms in time into rich love and memories for eternity.
No words – just love and thanks to you both for enhancing so many people’s lives. Dozer was a very special dog